April Fool's Day 2005: The Inline Planet Pokes Fun at the Roller World! Eddy Matzger Gives Up Skating, Says He Doesn't Know What He Was Thinking!
Skate Legend Eddy  Matzger renounced inline skating today and promised to dedicate the rest of his life to more serious pursuits, like Republican fund-raising. "When I was a child, I spake as a child," he said. "But I have put away childish things. For now on, it's war without end and television evangelism for me!" Rollerblade Switches Production to Pizza Knives - Citing changing market  conditions, Rollerblade announced today that it is abandoning the market it invented 25 years ago. "We've decided that skates was a big mistake," said marketing director Nick Skally. "Instead, we're going to make knives that have rollers for blades. ... We figure in super-size America, we can sell a lot more Rollerblade pizza knives than inline skates!" President Bush Pulls Troops Out of Iraq, Embarks on Round the World Rollerblade Tour -  "Gosh, darn," he said, "if they can't find Saddam's weapons of mass destruction, I'll find 'em myself. ... I know he hid 'em somewhere!" ... Vice President Dick Cheney will accompany the president to snarl at any wild dogs they may encounter. Kathie Fry Pulls the Plug on Skatelog - Skatelog webmistress Kathie Fry announced today that she is abandoning her web site to devote herself to removing the thousands of drawings and photos of herself that she has posted on the Internet. She pledged to remove every last cyber image of herself "even if it takes ten years." It may. For further April Fool's Day silliness, here's The History of April Fool's Day and The 100 Top April Fool's Day Hoaxes. (Posted on April Fool's Day 2005) | 
